Blessed. Loved. Adored. Grateful.

Ever since early on, I knew and I felt different from everyone and everybody in my life... I always felt underesteemated and misunderstood. However, the freedom I was privilidged to have, to hold, and to feel thanks to my loving parents Efrain and Dora Irma Espinoza, at a very early tender age, I can say I felt their love and inclusion in this physical world. There were times in my childhood were I felt the need to yearn for their love and affection across the miles and physical distance, but yet, I knew they were and continue to be near to heart. I would watch cartoons early Saturaday mornings, they greeted me in the absence of my parents that were far away from home. I felt their trust to leave me behind in a safe and loving enviroment and home that equipted me with the basic daily needs. Breakfast for me consisted of my favorite choice of cereal and cold milk from a running fridge. Followed by my favorite activity, Mr. Bubbles Bath in a jacuzzi style tub inside our private rental casita. Once, I was done with my pampering moment, I walked over next door to my auntie Martha's home. Her home was similar to ours except she had a standing shower tub and not a jacuzzi style tub. I visited with my cousin Hilda E. Rubalcava until it was time for me to call it a night and I'd go back home to my own private space. I remember, there was this one time, mom got me a ballerina with a crown and pink dress teddy bear. On one of my parents trips they came down and had to leave again, my heart was crushed because I loved spending time with them, they were so happy and fun to be around. They played music in their Bronco and talked about their peers in a positive and healthy way. Always laughing aloud. But again, it was time for them to leave and I would stay behind. I felt so sad and placed my teddy bear in the middle console for them to travel with. Mom and Dad and the teddy made it back to me safe, but the Bronco was totaled, they got hit by a Drunk Driver... the Drunk Driver survived and by the Grace of GOD so did my parents. My parents came back to me, I had a feeling and it came to pass but I know that God even sees the heart of a child like that of a righteous man. After all I know, the Kingdom of Heaven belong to such as them (child like spirit and pure of heart). I'm so blessed.

This Mother's First Love is Her Own Son, Isaac!

Blessed. Thankful. Grateful.

Blessd. Thankful. Grateful.

Wednessday Night!

I'm being reminded of my good old high school sweetheart of a boyfriend, J-diddy... You see, now that I am mature and have a little more knowledge (experience) about life in general, especially as a mother... I know why he was adamant about breaking bread with me. He wanted so bad to come over and have dinner with my parents and since I wouldn't agree with him, because my mom said I was allowed to have a scholar boyfirend, that meant he wasn't supposed to be the marriage type. So, he finally asked me to go to The Basque with him, and of course, we did end up going after a school function thats thanks to Pete our Student Council Advisor... Jeff was The Key Club Treasurer and I was just a Key Club member? I can't entirely remember, but we both shared a wonderful Thanksgiving volunteering at the Wellton Community Center for the Kawanas, next to our school mates and peers Norma Nuno and Manuel Quintana. Anyway, I'm remembering the feeling I felt when I was not shy moreless felt inadequate... didn't feel natural to me... We did alot of good things together, he was my wild-kick-side buddy (I had strict parents then)... and we both liked to live a little on the edge together, but we never took it too far (always respectful towards each other)... we never crossed the line of no return. We did keep it PG 13 between us, by my wishes. I am very grateful and appreciative to God and the Universe for allowing me to have had a wonder friend in high school that I consider a sweetheart of a scholar boyfriend. Wishing him the best at this time. I know he grew up to be a good dad.

Good Morning, it's Saturday, Still Awake and Blessed

I think,by now, it's fair to say I'm a happy person with a happy grateful and thankful personality a bit bi-polar... However, what I don't excuse and we all know, my physical disposition is to be temorary not a permanant patch work in the making. So this in knowing this, I know I've placed all of me in God's hands... my as in our past, the present moment, and our future altogether happen to be all in his hands, including those who are not aware of the biblical times. I am grateful every night for how far we've come along with a grain of faith and the seed of love planet in my independent and collective heart (the very heart of Jesus The Living Christ). I know God promises in his scriptures that all those who trust and trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior with their very own life, will not be disappointed. Indeed, I am not disappinted, I am grateful as previously mentioned. However, we know, the physical body requires Maslow's Theory of Hiarchy to manifest for the Spirit to thirve in its godly temple.