Tuesday, September 5, 2023

Healthy Relationship

Here on Earth it's been emphasized how important for mental health and health in general it is to have for a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship restores and behaves like springs of living water, because it's known it's not good for man to be alone. 

Besides my husband's tone; a-(L)-ouie, Lou, I, I actually have a healthy relationship with my psychiatrist.

Psychotherapy with him was amazing the best and healthiest part is admitting mutual reverence and brutal heart to heart connection between us to the point we no longer do practice psychotherapy together as before, this of course out of mutual respect & understanding. 

However with the challenges of a five year separation from my spouse yet, still legally binded under a marriage license and fulfilling contract along with military background and children involvement in our history, my desires as a mother have always been and my desires as a woman is all there is and it is frustrating for me and I'm so angry all the time. 

To the point all I want to do is eat steak, have chocolate, and ice cream because I've been so miserable and unhappy since I've been stuck in this rutted diplomatic unconventional mess per someone else’s wishes my lucky guess is by my own spouse’s wishes. 

It is hard to connect well with my significant other but not because of me I'm fully aware of who I am and with my testimony and so is my husband Luis and children aware of who they are. My disconnection is most likely because of him who refuses to see us as what who and what we are, together… 🤔 

I need my helpmate because I'm having sleepless nights and the desire intensifies with time and the desire to become one in a single act of love has always been. 

In the meantime this whole time I've been practicing and working on CBT to reduce my anger and my need to take it out. My psychiatrist previously offered me healthy tips to do so and I've been contemplating his wishes since it's not normal for a married gifted soulmate to go without for so long. 

Any tips on how to overcome myself ?

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