Sentiments, Romanticism, and Enlightenment

My heart betrays me, as I sit and reminice on what a beautiful life I was gifted to live with Louie, the father of my child. I remember the many sleepless nights when he worked graveyard shift in his ER days at BAMC. As I sit awake, but feel as if I am sleep walking... I can't help but to think, I am awake when my body is forced to stay awake, but deepinside of me, I know I am asleep. This is a very meloncholic estate of being. It feel like somber sentimental sentiments surging in me while I try to stay conciously aware when I just want to rest by sleep.