Confessing

Out of respect for myself (Louie and me) and for my children (our children) and for my now-deceased biological father-in-law, Luis R. Rosa, better known as Louis, according to him. I will share this in his loving memory.

I didn't know much of him, his past, his life with Rachel (the only wife I knew he ever had), but I do know this. He mentions "She suffered a loss" and I can say he did mention "you're going to eat your own words" and I also can say that I saw him in tears as he confessed to me in the year 2000, that he didn't beat, hit, nor bruise his mother (the one that raised him...) as he was accused by one of his own family members. He did serve his time as a result, and I don't know if his tears were tears of grievance or of embarrassment because I asked him if it was true, I had to take his word for it at face value. He did recognize and admit he has a much younger son other than Louie by the name of "Jordan" in Florida, he did not care to mention his mothers' name. And of course, these were all on separate accounts over the last 20 years. 

I bring this up, to offer myself the peace I need at this time. To let him go and to help establish a world order in my own life at this time. He is an essential part of our Family and American History. You see, he admitted his father Raul, had in fact murdered Rosa Rosa (Raul's second wife) from Puerto Rico and that his father Raul did in fact commit suicide as a result of his own doing, his own behavior. I did tell him over the phone during covid19, it had to end and he agrees. 

Mr. Rosa, I call him Mr. Rosa, he always saw himself as a family man and cared to be considered a family man (I saw him, that is to say, I saw that side of him, he was a funny guy with a unique sense of humor). He was and I know he is proud of his grandchildren. He was so excited to know about their accomplishments and he knew they all have it in them to reach their fullest potential, he had high expectations as all and most parents should have and I'm with him on that. He knew so much about American History, I challenged him to get his teaching degree in History, especially since he loves talking about it and he was already retired. I told him to make it a new hobby, and he sounded like he would consider it. He knew it wasn't about the money but prestige. You see, Louis, he never stopped being Louie's father nor stop loving him, is just that in his dominating world, he was and became his own master after his divorce. He was not perfect but he did try his best. He was happy not having to re-merry, he struggled, he had roommates, he had to bike-ride, however, he loved his freedom to roam and not be questioned. I can see how he felt that way, he did become a Marine, that's how he wooed Louie's mom in the first place, Rachel M. Viramontes, according to some letters that he, as in, Mr. Rosa (Louis) wrote to her while he was serving his time in the service. 

Rachel passed down those letters to Louie and I'm like dude that's nothing but bad news if your parents aren't together any longer, in my mind of course. She tried to transfer her yoke upon her own son and it's wrong. Those letters hold no value, the person who wrote them is to be of value, that's why I say "Rachel is a Bitch" she made Louie's dad look bad in front of her own son when in reality to her and for her it was all about her on her end and what she wanted out of life for herself at all cost, she had no consideration for the real father of her own children, and grandchildren (by cheating them from their own mother), very selfish of her part. I'm happy to say, My Father-In-Law, Louis, agrees that "Rachel is a Bitch", he admits, "I know she is." She was an annoying nosy mother-in-law to me and very deceitful. She cheated her way. However, Mr. Rosa, Louies Dad, does have a good heart, like Ms. Michelle (I don't remember her last name, but I do know she has a daughter named Harley in Florida from back in 2004) as she claimed at face value to me in my presence. He ultimately paid the price with his own life in order for me to write these words in the form of confession, so that God gets all the Glory and no one else, and to clear his name. Facts are facts, fact is a train of a fact.   

Anyway, I need to eat healthy meals and we all need answers and we all need to be honest with our-independent and own esteem, in order to smoothly move forward and advance in peace as a family united by Love. I did mention to my son, Isaac, that his grandfather was not a perfect man and that no one is truly perfect in the sight of men, but that in fact, he was his grandfather. Rachel did in fact have a son before she conceived Louie, and she named Louie after her own deceased firstborn son. 

I always questioned Louie, why his mother would name him after her deceased firstborn son, knowing that the death certificate has him as a Jr,... I did say, shouldn't you be like Luis R. Rosa Jr. the I or the II. His best and stupid answer "I don't know" is the same stupid answer Rachel gives when you discover her demeanor and true intention. Rachel once apologizes to me and I ask what for, her reply "I don't know." The thumb-sucking give-away, was enough for me to know better. 

Anyway, I was upset once because my father-in-law Louis, disrespected me in my home and house located at Millers Ridge in San Antonio, TX. Right after I had delivered Emily, and Louie was about to get ready to go to recruiting school. My father-in-law wanted to come and stay with me in my home the entire time my husband Louie was in school. Louis my father-in-law wanted to stay as a guest in my home, with me, my newborn, and Isaac, my oldest without his own son, the father of my children and who happens to also be my husband. That was an indisputable, NO! 

It wasn't happening and it did not happen, I didn't excuse myself, but I told Louie that I did not feel comfortable having someone he didn't know (such as his own estranged father)  much less someone I (personally) don't know to stay in my home with me and my kids, while he would be away in another state. I mean, I remind Louie, I "breastfeed" (I'm nursing) my newborn, I'm not having a man I personally don't know nor trust around invading my privacy.  

There is so much more to it, but I was so here I am hoping to eat my positive words and secrete the ones that no longer serve us in the form of peace-making with our overall past. 

Louis did admit meeting Norma Jean from San Antonio, TX where they both end up and live together in Florida for a while. I got to speak to Norma Jean over the phone when we lived in Texas back in 2003 and right before he met and traveled down to Las Vegas with Ms. Michelle. And of course, Norma Jean made contact with me when my family, meaning Louie the kids, and I, moved to the Great Lakes area due to Louies Military new career as an AMEDD Recruiter.

Anyway, I do remember Louie mentioning to me, "my dad asked me if you were sickly" when we were still living at Millers Ridge and of course, Louie told him that I wasn't, I thought it was strange. I can say when that occurred, they both asked if I had some "pinsas" they could borrow... they must have been working on a small project in the garage or something, just randomly out of nowhere. I was like no, I just have the tweezers that I use to pluck my eyebrows. And of course, they borrow. 

That's enough confessing for today. But before I say goodbye, for now, I have to say, Emily's birth certificate reads her father's name as Luis R. Rosa without the Jr., Hence why I know I need to correct what deems needed to be corrected and establish proper relationships like my inlaw once suggested. I tried to get the name amended to read Jr. like it is displayed on Isaac's birth certificate and Lysette's birth certificate, but it's just a hard time to do so at this time. 

Somehow, the LORD made sure in his good book, the name of Luis R. Rosa was written well with the birth of and death of Louie's real biological father, as we know him to be Louis.